Gratitude , Thanks, ...

For many of us, I think, as much as we would want to be grateful or show how grateful we are  to our parents, we always fall short. We fall short to express how grateful we are. Even if we express how grateful we are, we end up feeling that we could have said or done more. As I write this, I feel the same. I dont know how can I tell my parents how grateful I am for whatever they have done. How grateful I am to them for making me, ME. The ME i am happy to be and the ME they made me. 

As much as we think we have done whatever we have to be what we are, parents play a very important role in what we have become. From the good habits we pick up from them, to certain traits we would rather prefer not having. We often think we have a choice to become a certain way, and that is true to a great extent. But given the natural tendencies of a human, we do not even know what all aspects of personality we inherit. Unless something is strikingly visible (or problematic), it stays and possibly passes on.

If I try to list down the things that I can thank my parents or be grateful for, it would do injustice to the things that I did not even realize they did for me.  Yet, if I do not let them know I am grateful for the things they have done, I will feel that I lacked as a son. So I want to try and start penning these down and as and when I realize more things I will list them down. To be honest, I type this post in fear that I would be too late in telling them how much I value them. They possibly know and because we are a family that doesn't express emotions as much, there are unsaid things that we realize. But if I can try to put down what I feel, I think I should. 

The aspect of parenthood that my parents aced, in my opinion, was they disciplined us enough in the formation phases of our childhood, and they gradually released control, trusting their upbringing. I dont know if they did this intentionally, but in hindsight I think this make our lives easier and we ended up being more responsible individuals. And I speak for my brothers as well, I would say. They were reasonably strict in our school days, with normal parents duties, like don't do this or don't do that. And focus on this and try to do that. Behave well, respect elders, pray well, go to church, study well, help others, dont cheat, etc etc.

 They instilled in us the fear of God and the importance of God and the values of Christianity. Not just Sunday mass attenders, but to be part of a community and be a part of zonal/church activities as much as we can. They lead by example and seeing the impact they had, it made me pick up roles in the church of responsibility. The years I was in the Youth group, truly shaped my personality and they were always supportive and encouraging. Religion for many is a debatable aspect of life. But, if religion enables you to do good for people around your and for yourself, then its a good thing for sure. And, I have my doubts about God, but if believing in the existence of God makes you do good, we should believe and do all we can

............. lot more to write, will continue in the next post, else I keep finding the right words and keep delaying

Beparwah Chords | TVF Aspirants | Arnab Dutta

Lovely song by Arnab Dutta for the series Aspirants by TVF 

 [Verse 1]

D Bm

Ittefaq hai kya, milna tumhara

G A

Waqt kaisa beparwah ..haan

D Bm

Chal padha peeche peeche tumhare

G A

Mai bhi sang beparwah

G A D

Bewajah hui saari wajah

G A D

Bechainiya hairaniyan

G Em7

Badnamia Sau kahaniyan

A D

Sab kuch hua beparwah

Bm G A G A

[Verse 2]

D

Mom mom si mil gayi

D

Jagamag si jal gayi

G A

Mujhme hai roshan si tu

Bm A

Bholi bhali bha gayi yu Cham cham cha gayi yu

G A

Mujhme badal jaise tu

G          A D

Bhigata yuhi teri chao me

G A D

Reh jao beparwah

G Em7

Beh jao beparwah

A G D

Mar jao beparwah

My attempt to this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaxNSXhZBcs

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard Enterprises Beparwaah · Arnab Dutta · Rohit Sharma · Deepesh Sumitra Jagdish Aspirants: Season 1 (Music From the TVF Original Series) ℗ 2021 Contagious Online Media Network Pvt Ltd Released on: 2021-05-07 Producer: Ashish Chakrabarty Producer: Tapan Jyoti Dutta Music Publisher: Contagious Online Media Network Pvt Ltd

Wimbledon 2014 Experience

There is a story behind reaching Wimbledon and entering that court. The experience of standing and sitting in the queue for the tickets and the build up to reach the place. It was a crucial part of the Wimbledon experience for me but it translated into something similar that I experienced sitting amid the audience that made my Wimbledon experience one to cherish. So I’ll go straight to my experience on court.

I got my ticket and started rushing towards court 2 which was around 400m away from the Ticket counter. Finding my way through people with anxiety, I reached the court. There was a line at each entrance as there was a game in progress. Waiting in this line felt long and the Theory of Relativity needed no further explanation. Once I entered the court I looked around for the ideal spot. The thought in my mind at that point of time was- I wish I had thought of which position I would like to be seated, given an opportunity to watch a match. There wasn’t much time as it was between 2 games that you are allowed to enter in and be seated. The second set was in progress and it was 4-4, Querrey having won the 1^st set 6-4.

I grabbed a seat with my camera in my hand, staring awkwardly at people around me who seemed to be calm in their chairs. People were calling out names and waving at the entrances to signal their presence. Soon the chair umpire calls time. The players get up and move to their respective sides on the court. It was Tsongas turn to serve. He signals to the ball boy and has 3 balls on his racquet, looks at them and returns one back. In my mind I have flashes of what I have seen on TV. He gets into position and bounces the ball, throws it up in the air and bang to the other side. The racquet hit the ball, the ball hit the grass and a feeling hit me that I’m alive. I was actually living the moment. The moment where my thoughts and reality coincided, the visuals come in, the flashbacks of games you’ve watched on TV.  The moment was not short. It lasted for well over 15 minutes. I could not stop smiling. I could not believe that I am actually watching a match at the court. It is something I had never dreamt of. It has never been in my to-do list. I realised I never had a to-do list in life. This made me feel alive. It was not a single emotion. It is not something that I can put down in words. For a person like me who finds everything normal, finding something that was way beyond normality. You reach a level of happiness, such a level you hope to stay there forever. You lose track of your senses. Time does not pass at the regular pace. Voices of people sound like echoes. Players don’t seem real. It is like you are watching them on TV. Your eyes are capturing visuals for the TV channel.

Meanwhile I am watching the game. There are points being won. There is cheering, there is clapping, there is standing, there are too many things happening at the same time. I am in a state that I cannot define. There are cries of ‘Ohhhh’ and ‘Uhhhhhh’. There is a person who cannot believe that he is watching a match  and there are two people who are putting in all they have because for them it is not just a match.

Time passed and I started getting back to normal. It had sunk in that I am watching a match, for real. I could feel the intensity of the game, something I never felt sitting back at home. You react to points more. A backhand seems a trick and the forehand seems a whack so hard that the ball screams ouch. The speed at which the rallies progress gets you charged up. The random shouts and noises from the crown are funny. Come on Tsonga. Come on Willy. Come on Sammy. All of a sudden 2-3 guys shout ‘ Ayeey Oooh’ and raise their hands. Few others look at them and smile. Again they repeat the same and people around them smile and raise their hands as well and scream ‘ Ayeey Ohh’ . Then slowly people start raising their arms and scream. Slowly and steadily people get the hang of it. And then what you witness is something beautiful. It seems awesome on TV and it feels even better being a part of a Mexican wave. I didn’t experience it just once but 4 times. People just don’t stop. One occasion the umpire called out twice to resume the game. There were people screaming during play and the umpire reminding people to maintain silence when a point is being played. The ball girl had to ask permission from the umpire for leaving the court for a break. He was like the teacher sitting in his chair. Obviously, one that no one wanted to listen to.

The match was progressing very well. There were moments for both the players. Neither of them could maintain any momentum as the other would pull out a shot out of no where. There were no breaks coming through. Tsonga won the 2^nd set in the tie break and then Querrey won the 3^rd in a tie break. The service games were dominated by the respective players but there were some games that were tougher than the others. There were rallies where both the players should their class. Tsonga was classier while Querrey tried to return everything Tsonga threw at him. In the 4^th set eventually Tsonga broke again and won the set 6-3. At the start of the 5^th set both the players were serving as if the match had just started. It was 4-4 in barely 20 minutes and we knew we had a long match. At the outset it didn’t seem that either would drop their service. But as the figure 6 draws closer, players automatically push harder. It was always evident when I watched games at home and it made sense. Preserve energy till you are closer to your goal. The games started getting longer and the light dimmer. It was past 8:30 pm but the light was pretty good.

The games started getting longer and the cheers started getting louder. Tsonga had more supporters and it was evident each time he won a tough point. I was confused whom to support. I came in thinking I would support the person who is losing so that I could see a good long game. But my mind drew me towards Tsonga. I wanted him to win because I have been following him since long. He is a character on court and has been an amazing asset to Tennis, not only his ability but also his antics.

It had passed 9 now and the umpire kept reviewing the light. It was 7-7 and he didn’t seem to be happy with the light. He let the game continue and we had 2 long games. It was 9:15 PM and the light was questionable for play. So he called out the end of days play at 8-8. But the crowd came into the picture. This for me was the best part of the day. All the people starting ‘booing’.  It was a strange thing because people were standing and applauding the players and at the same time were jeering the umpire. The players also did not seem happy with the decision and were reluctant to leave the court. They stood their ground and people’s shouts grew noisier. The umpire then instructed them to continue and there was a loud uproar. The audience were happy. They had accomplished what they wanted. At that point even I shouted very loudly. Something I generally don’t do and I felt free and I felt me J It was a perfect end to the day. The match had to be called off after the 2 games at 9-9. But this time the people recognized that play couldn’t go ahead. Everyone was standing and the claps didn’t stop. People started rushing to the exit as it was late and there were people moving towards the court to get autographs. Querrey left the court soon but Tsonga stayed behind and recognized the crowd. He changed his jersey and the girls in the crowd roared .

I too went down to get a better glimpse of him. While others took autographs I just looked at him. Just like a child who has seen something never seen before. I tried to take a pic but my hand wasn’t steady enough. So I left the camera in my pocket and let myself just cherish this moment. It had made my day, my week, my month, my trip. There are things that bring joy to you and you don’t know why. You just enjoy them because you do and for me those moments were and for a phlegmatic me those were my moments of happiness J

My way back to the metro station was a walk of happiness. I was living the song ‘Happy’ by Pharell Williams. I had not been truly happy in a long time but it was my time and I was HAPPY J

 Link to the story :

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more-sports/wimbledon-querry-tsonga-marathon-match-suspended-darkness-article-1.1843941